walking on water

The house seems so empty. It's crazy how loud silence can be.

Tuesday my two housemates (and partners and just really awesome friends) went back to the US, concluding a series of goodbyes this holiday season. The city is now short two single ladies, one wonderful couple, and four energetic, beautiful blonde-headed girls.

This time has been much anticipated with anxiety, to be honest. More goodbyes. Another transition. Joy.

It's easy to look at the situation and fall into worry and insecurity. And I did there for a little while (another honest moment). Who am I to be heading up the English center? What am I going to do without all those late-night motivating and strengthening conversations? What happens if (when) everything falls apart and we lose all momentum and I have no idea what to do next? Can I really do this?

But you know what? All of those questions up there, they're all focused on the wrong thing. They're all about me. Who am I? What am I to do?

While some of those questions up there may hold some value, most are just unbelief covered in worry. I'm reminded of a story about a certain someone who tried to walk on water but started sinking when he shifted his eyes to the storm around him instead of on the One who was walking towards him. Pretty humbling.

Isn't that more or less exactly what I'm doing? I am so quick to look at what's around me and flip out because I can't possibly do it, when all I'm supposed to do is fix my eyes on the One who CAN. (Haven't I learned this already? I think I'm like Peter in more ways than one.)

So here's what I've learned so far in my version of trying to walk on water:

He's our Father, our good and perfect Father. And if our dads here know how to give their children good gifts, how much more so our good and perfect Father! We are not abandoned. We are His beloved.

He knows what He's doing. It's no coincidence that we're in the situations we're in. He knows us better than we know ourselves, and He knows how to draw us to Himself. That's what He's doing, you know. Drawing us to Himself. Making His name known. And, in the process, making us more like Him. We can't walk on water, but He can. When the wind and waves are raging all around us, all we gotta do is trust and keep walking with our eyes fixed on Him.

Let's try this whole walking on water thing again.