one year in

A year ago today, I stepped foot into this beautiful, hot, wonderful country. It’s unbelievable that that much time has already passed. It’s been full of laughter, awe, worship, tears, challenges, and pretty much anything else you can imagine.

10 things I love about this country (aside from the people):

• The cicaks – these little geckos not only eat the mosquitoes that carry malaria and dengue, but I also think they’re super cute.
• The food – when I first arrived in this country, I’ll be honest, I wasn’t a big fan of the food. It was a lot of rice, and it was spicy. But now, it is some of the best food in the world.
• Fresh fruit juice - Divine.
• Speaking in another language – Okay, so I’m far from fluent, but it’s still really cool to be able to understand and even slightly communicate in another language.
• Driving a motorcycle – Yeah, there are some times when I fear for my life and others when I battle road rage, but all in all, it’s a rather fun experience.
• The landscape – Turn one direction, mountains. Another, the beach. Does it get any better?
• Batik fabric – this beautiful fabric is wonderful, and each province has their own unique style.
• Greeting friends with a cheek-to-cheek embrace – I loved this when I was in France, and I was thrilled to discover it’s here as well.
• Being community-oriented – Honestly, this took me a while to adjust to: neighbors coming in and peeking in my room, asking about every little thing, etc. My housemates have stories of, while battling dengue, waking up to find neighbors standing over the beds, watching them. Now, though, it’s a source of comfort. Our neighbors have our backs. The first two weeks after we moved in, the little ibu next door sat outside our gate every night, making sure we got home safely. Relationships matter.
• Dependence on the Lord – There is absolutely no denying our dependence on the Lord in this country. Day in and day out, it is very clear: WE NEED HIM. Need Him for sanity, need Him for comfort, need Him for strength, need Him to do it all really… In the States, that fact can be clouded, but here, it is very, very evident.

10 things that have changed:

• Ideas of cold - 70 degrees is coooold. Guess that’s what happens when you live in 90-degree weather with high humidity year round. When we went up to the mountains, I wore a sweater and shivered.
• How comfortable I am with physical contact with the same gender - It’s a totally normal thing now to walk hand-in-hand with a good girl friend. Nothing is thought of it. Extremely awkward at first, now it’s a common thing even among my American girl friends.
• My eating habits - Remember when you were a kid and your parents always scolded you for eating with your hands? Yeah. Forget that.
• The definition of an address - Want to know what we say when we give our address? It’s the blue and grey house next to the red house in the neighborhood behind the orange building on this one street. To receive a package, I get a text message from the post office telling me to come pick one up. To pay bills, I take last month’s bill down the street to a guy’s house who has a computer set up in his living room. Mailboxes are a thing of the past.
• My idea of showering - Warm water spraying down automatically from a shower head above me is a faint memory. Now, my arms get a daily workout as I dump cold water over my head. It’s rather refreshing in the middle of blazing hot day in the tropics though.
• My cooking abilities - Not that I’m this awesome cook or anything, but through being under some pretty awesome ladies, I can now successfully make some things taste like America (some things).
• My driving abilities – Piggybacking off of loving to drive above, my driving abilities have also changed drastically… and not necessarily in a good way. I’m a lot more aggressive now… I’m pretty sure I’m going to be in trouble when I get back to the States.
• Handshakes - After lightly shaking someone’s hand, you bring your own up to your chest. Please don’t think I’m weird if I come back and do this. It’s a really hard habit to break.
• Standards for movies - Going to the theater here is a magical experience – It’s dark, they’re speaking in English, we’re eating candy and movie popcorn… It’s almost like being in America, and it’s worth watching movies that I would never consider seeing if I was actually back in the States. 
• Ideas of cleanliness - When it comes to the bathroom, wet is clean. If the food has no roaches, it’s good. Ants? Extra protein.

It's been a crazy year, but I am so thankful for the opportunity to be here and witness what the Father's doing. Thank you, Asia, for making me more like Him. I'm looking forward to the year to come.


"And we know that for those who love G-d all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified.

What then shall we say to these things? If G-d is for us, who can be against us?"
- Rom 8:28-31

small town life

The past couple of days has been full of lots of new things. Sorry for the delay. New place = no internet in my room = new routine.

First: Singapore. Wow. What a city. The two days I spent there really spoiled me - clean, full of English-speakers, and Subway. Man, oh man. But that wasn't the point, of course. Which leads me to…

Second: new visa! I am allowed to stay for another 60 days! Hooray! I'll be able to extend it for a little bit longer, but I will have to go back to Singapore again for my real visa. Oh, darn. :)

Third: Btown! I'm here!! Nearly a year later, I am walking the streets and seeing the faces of the people I've been waiting to join! It is quite different than the other city in so many aspects.

- There's green! Trees everywhere, and the beach! You can smell the ocean water when going to the store… and then you turn around and see the mountains on the other side. Do I really live here?

- Btown definitely has the small-town vibe. For those back home, if I had to guess, it's about the size of Lexington with the feel of Winchester. There are two universities, but right now it's holiday for them, so it's pretty quiet.

- And consequently, since it is a small town, I don't have quite as many luxuries as I did during language school. No massive, glamorous malls (though there are two small ones); no becaks (my primary mode of transportation the past four months); no McDonalds. I think I'll adjust. :)

- Language is a little different here. They use an "o" sound a lot more in place of the "a" sound, in particular at the end of a word. It makes listening a little more difficult… Additionally, since it is a small town, people sometimes use their tribal languages, which is not the language I learned. His power works in my weakness… His power works in my weakness.

Fourth: first driving lesson. I'm really excited about it all, but there's a healthy dose of fear as well. I've (almost) mastered driving in a parking lot today, but driving on the streets is a whole other ballgame. Hopefully I'll be able to have another lesson soon.

Fifth: home stay. Right now, I am living in what they call a kos. It's a house owned by a family, and they rent out the rooms to people, in most cases, to students. Sometimes the family themselves don't actually live there, and the kos next door during language school had something like 30 guys and girls living there. This kos is different. The family does live here, so I have an ibu kos (house mother), who has been very great. Also, rather than dozens of people here, there are only three other girls. We share a bathroom and a kitchen that is truly southeast Asian. I don't have internet right now, so I'll have to be a lot more intentional with my time on it (definitely not a bad thing). I promise there will be pictures after I've settled in more.

At first, I was a bit overwhelmed by it all. But my heart is learning to rejoice in it all - even the lack of everything I once knew to be a bathroom and a kitchen. I've been able to start relationships with my kos mates and met the students at the English club today for the first time.

He is so faithful. He doesn't abandon his children. Paul says he learned the secret to doing all things - hunger, sickness, the good and the bad - "I can do all things through him who strengthens me." In every circumstance, we can press on because he is our strength. He doesn't just leave us to fend for ourselves; rather, he fights our battles for us. He is clearing the obstacles and making straight our paths. All we have to do is be obedient and look to him.

Sorry for the book. I promise I'll upload photos soon. Those are more fun. :) 

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the L0rd your G0d is with you wherever you go." Josh 1:9

Him + Nothing = Everything

This is the part of the adventure where I feel crazy. the first of many times, I'm sure.

In all honesty, this past week has been pretty rough. Language was bad, lots of bad culture days, and the upcoming holidays is a great topper.

And I'm left on my face, before the One who is great and mighty and knows why in the world he has brought a tiny, unable-to-do-anything, still-has-problems-trusting girl here. Everything is being stripped away, painfully at times, leaving only Him to fall back on.

But you know what? He's all I need.

JC is enough.

I am reading a book a friend recommended to me, and the day when I felt most crazy, I read this.

Because JC is strong for me, I am free to be weak.

Because JC won for me, I am free to lose.

Because JC was someone, I am free to be no one.

Because JC was extraordinary, I am free to be ordinary.

Because JC succeeded for me, I am free to fail.

It's all about Him. He has already won. He has sealed me with His blood. I am His. And His plans will not be thwarted. Even if my language doesn't improve a single bit, He is more powerful than my language abilities. All I have to do is just walk with him. I don't have to be good enough; He is my sufficiency. I am free to be a mirror, to reflect the only one who was great, who loved perfectly, who did the greatest act the world has ever known for those who hated Him.

His grace is sufficient. He is my sanity. He is enough. He is enough.

When I am stripped of all things and left empty, You fill me up with the most beautiful, amazing, undeserved grace. Thank You for knowing better than me and for taking away that which I cling to that isn't good for me. Thank You for being You.

Berjalan saja.
Just walk.

"Come, let us return to the Lrd; for he has torn us, that he may heal us; he has struck us down, that he will bind us up. After two days, he will revive us; and on the third day he will raise us up, that we may live before him.

Let us know; let us press on to know the Lrd; his going out is as sure as the dawn; he will come to us as the showers, as the spring rains that water the earth." Hosea 6:1-3

"When I cannot stand I'll fall on you. Jesus, you're my hope and stay."

And the goodbyes have begun.

Each one makes this thing all the more real.

I really am going 10,000 miles away from everything familiar to a country where the food is new, the language is new, the people are new.

This is going to happen.

The goodbyes are rough. I'm pretty good at holding myself together until I get to myself when I am suddenly swarmed by emotions and have to, once again, fall before my King, recognizing I totally need him to do this.

Before anyone doubts whether or not this is something I actually want to do, I do want to do this. I am excited. This is a huge opportunity to go and make His name known among the nations.

It's just the anticipation that kills.

But G*d is so good. His faithfulness and love is mind-blowing. I can't wait to share it with the students over there.

"Surely those who know the great passionate heart of Jehovah must deny their own loves in order to share in the expression of his." - Jim Elliot