feliz navidad

Selamat Hari Natal - Merry Christmas!

Sunday actually made the second Christmas away from home for me. Last Christmas was also spent on this side of the world, but my family waited to celebrate until after I got home, a week or so afterwards. That wasn't be the case this year. This time, I'm here for good. Bring on the celebrations.

We went to several Christmas services, complete with multiple speakers, Feliz Navidad (including one version with three languages - see video below), and candle lighting while singing "Silent Night." We ourselves threw two parties, one for our neighbors and one for the students. Christmas Eve we surprised our other buleh friends with some caroling, and on Christmas morning, we enjoyed homemade cinnamon rolls while watching Miracle on 34th Street. And our internet decided to be wonderful and give us the clearest Skype dates with our families we've ever had, so I got to watch my sister open her presents in her Disney footie pajamas. Some things never change.

I don't know about you, but this year, Christmas took on whole new meaning. The Promised One finally arrived, and with him came freedom - true, lasting freedom. Because the good news of his coming is not just important for one moment in your life; it's good news for every moment of every day. For the moments when we don't meet standards, for the moments when we fall on our faces, unable to keep it all together, for the moments when we realize we just can't do it. 

For those moments, and for all the moments in between, we have great news. 

He knows we're weak and needy. He knows we can't do it. So he came so that he could do it for us.

I am hidden in him. I don't have to pretend I have it all together. I don't have to be perfect. Cause he has accomplished all that I could not. He has secured my acceptance, my approval, my worth. He has done it all.

Freedom is here.

Come, thou long-expected J-sus, 

Born to set thy people free;

From our fears and sins release us,

Let us find our rest in thee.

Israel's strength and consolation,

Hope of all the earth thou art;

Dear desire of every nation,

Joy of every longing heart. 

 

And last, but not least:

Him + Nothing = Everything

This is the part of the adventure where I feel crazy. the first of many times, I'm sure.

In all honesty, this past week has been pretty rough. Language was bad, lots of bad culture days, and the upcoming holidays is a great topper.

And I'm left on my face, before the One who is great and mighty and knows why in the world he has brought a tiny, unable-to-do-anything, still-has-problems-trusting girl here. Everything is being stripped away, painfully at times, leaving only Him to fall back on.

But you know what? He's all I need.

JC is enough.

I am reading a book a friend recommended to me, and the day when I felt most crazy, I read this.

Because JC is strong for me, I am free to be weak.

Because JC won for me, I am free to lose.

Because JC was someone, I am free to be no one.

Because JC was extraordinary, I am free to be ordinary.

Because JC succeeded for me, I am free to fail.

It's all about Him. He has already won. He has sealed me with His blood. I am His. And His plans will not be thwarted. Even if my language doesn't improve a single bit, He is more powerful than my language abilities. All I have to do is just walk with him. I don't have to be good enough; He is my sufficiency. I am free to be a mirror, to reflect the only one who was great, who loved perfectly, who did the greatest act the world has ever known for those who hated Him.

His grace is sufficient. He is my sanity. He is enough. He is enough.

When I am stripped of all things and left empty, You fill me up with the most beautiful, amazing, undeserved grace. Thank You for knowing better than me and for taking away that which I cling to that isn't good for me. Thank You for being You.

Berjalan saja.
Just walk.

"Come, let us return to the Lrd; for he has torn us, that he may heal us; he has struck us down, that he will bind us up. After two days, he will revive us; and on the third day he will raise us up, that we may live before him.

Let us know; let us press on to know the Lrd; his going out is as sure as the dawn; he will come to us as the showers, as the spring rains that water the earth." Hosea 6:1-3

Here's to a very scary beginning

I'm trying desperately to not have expectations, to not build up a false, romanticized idea of how my time there is going to be.

I want to ready myself, to be prepared to serve without hinderances, to live in that moment - in the here and now.

Yet, I see so much in me that is not good, so much that does not please our Father. And I'm fighting those things with all that I am, striving towards sanctification and holiness, keeping my eyes on the prize - our home, our glorious God, standing perfected by Him, through Him, for Him: "for my name's sake."

Father, break me of all that is not pleasing to you. Increase in me. Give me eyes to see myself in my depravity, grace and love in their fullness, the cross in its glory. May all I do be for You. I cling to the promise of your faithfulness and goodness. Pour yourself on me. May my life be an overflow of You.